Jana and her friend were talking about a classmate that did something mean to her.
Her friend offered an interpretation, “Maybe he’s mean because he thinks you’re ugly from the accident, but I don’t think you are.”
It was meant kindly. I died inside.
I couldn’t tell if Jana caught what was said or not. She’s good at hiding things (a skill she unfortunately gets from me).
Do I mention it to her, bring it up and tell her about it if she didn’t hear it? Risk letting it go unaddressed if she did notice?
Her friends were understandably shocked when they first saw her after the accident. Her face was swollen, her eye closed, fresh surgery scars on her cheek and eyelid, and one massive yellow and purple bruise covering her face and neck. She was unsteady on her feet and was exhausted by everything. But she’s healed so much. She hasn’t regained full movement in one eye, but most people can’t tell. I only see it because the ophthalmologist showed me. The bruising and swelling are gone. The only obvious physical evidence left of the accident is a round pink scar on her cheek. Surely her friends are used to her scar by now.
Jana isn’t bothered much by her scar, but mostly because she forgets, not because she’s actually OK with it. She gets annoyed if I draw attention to it. I hope she comes to peace with it, or maybe it will fade away. I imagine when she’s a teenager, she won’t be happy with a constant reminder on her face of the accident and her brother’s death.